Patriot Act
by SejesRuins
Summary: Lets veiw the Patriot act in naruto's world.
1. Chapter 1: Explination

Hello my name is Sejes Ruins it is a code name of my true self, of my real name. Today the Third Hokage approved several things I will list them as follows

A) The Hokage has given a select few group of elite ninjas the right to monitor their peer ninjas use of telephones, email, the postal service, air, gravity and most importantly of all each other.

B) The Hokage has allowed us to build a link to the out side world by means of the internet. If you wish to contact any one in the village hidden in the leaves you may email them at simply put "Dear (insert ninja's name here)," then continue your message. This is because few of the ninjas here own computers accept for Neji, he's a nerd like that.

The Hokage has ordered us to post any findings from A) or B) onto this website under this account name.

It has been my duty to inform you of this.

Sejes Ruins

We will post one message of our choice once a week or more frequently if we see it fit to do so.


	2. Chapter 2: 0001

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This message was intercepted after Hinata gave this letter to Naruto and Naruto made a response

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To: Naruto

From: Hinata

Hi Naruto do you like me

yes

no

maybe so

If you do like me is there any thing else you want to ask me?

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To: Hinata

From: Naruto

Hey this is what you wrote so I'm just going to put it here okay?

"Hi Naruto do you like me

X yes

no

maybe so

If you do like me is there any thing else you want to ask me?"

Yeah I like you Hinata, were good friends even though you're a little quiet but you're still cool. And guess what Hinata friends do favors for their friends. It's like your psychic or something because I have a favor to ask of you. I want you to help to hook me up with Sakura. She is a sexy beast and she has a booty no one can mess with. She's superfly. I want her to sheath my ninja sword. So yeah since you obviously don't like me at all it would be cool right?

Come on help a brother out.

I'd help you get a chick.

If you wanted one.

Which I don't know if you do.

Do you?

Can I get a video of that?

Please?

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End of message between Hinata and Naruto. Hinata after receiving Naruto's response cried for several days. It was funny to watch. Very funny.

Sejes Ruins

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Don't Forget I need Emails from you guys to Naruto and the gang (maybe even Kira) to fulfill my second job please give me your Emails or the Hokage will beat me.

Sejes Ruins


	3. Chapter 3: 0002

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This message was sent to Sasuke, it is from the killer known as "KIRA" we have intercepted it and will NOT give it to Sauske because we cannot lose his emo power.

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Dear Sauske,

I am Kira. The same Kira who has been killing all things that are evil in this world for some time now. I am sure you have heard of me. Any way enough about my god-like powers. I'm sorry did I say god LIKE powers I meant god powers. But any way moving right along. I have used my god powers to locate the one person in all the anime realms strong enough to help me defeat a new scarier threat. It is known as "High School Musical 2: The corruption of the innocent … again". We never saw the first one coming, we assumed it was just another Disney original movie, with aspiring young actors and actresses who unemotionally read the script off of the page to an uninteresting plot. But no it attacked us like … uh… like something that attacks with out warning. OH I know it attacked us like you get a random encounter in the old Final Fantasy games, but not the new one, with that gay kid as the main character. Well any way I believe that we should team up forces to make a being so great the world has never seen it we shall call it :killemoer or emo killing squad or Kiremo or maybe Kuriboh, yes that's it the world shall fear the name Kuriboh. Our organization will be little but powerful. We shall kill all threats to our emo way of life. Like High School Musical and Football practice and people who smile. Their blood shall run like a river. And not like a little river either like great rapids like you could go rafting on this river that's the kinda river I'm talking about. I mean lots of blood. Like uber pwnage. We can even take out that pansy, what's his name oh yeah Satan we should kill Satan and steal hell. Man this plan is awesome. Any way get back to me as soon as possible, I'll be waiting.

Love,

Kira

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Okay guys you seriously need to send in your emails to Naruto characters. The Hokage has been beating me with his belt for hours. IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!!! Come on help a guy out. Please I need your emails to keep my skin.

Please hurry,

Sejes Ruins


	4. Chapter 4: 0003

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This message was intercepted after Hinata gave this letter to Neji and Neji made a response. Hinata's message was a response to message number 0001 that she received from Naruto in the previous message.

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Dear Neji,

I am so upset right now at Naruto's response to my letter. You are the only person who writing staff gave me a connection to in which we know each other well enough to tell you about this. Well I suppose you should read Naruto's letter to me, here it is.

"To: Hinata

From: Naruto

Hey this is what you wrote so I'm just going to put it here okay?

"Hi Naruto do you like me

X yes

no

maybe so

If you do like me is there any thing else you want to ask me?"

Yeah I like you Hinata, were good friends even though you're a little quiet but you're still cool. And guess what Hinata friends do favors for their friends. It's like your psychic or something because I have a favor to ask of you. I want you to help to hook me up with Sakura. She is a sexy beast and she has a booty no one can mess with. She's superfly. I want her to sheath my ninja sword. So yeah since you obviously don't like me at all it would be cool right?

Come on help a brother out.

I'd help you get a chick.

If you wanted one.

Which I don't know if you do.

Do you?

Can I get a video of that?

Please?"

I mean can you believe he said that? I mean I spent 5 months working up the courage to talk to Naruto at all and then he asks me to help him get in some slut's pants? Or what ever you call those things on her legs? Are those like stockings or are they shorts or what? HONESTLY WHAT DO YOU CALL THOSE????!!!! Maybe I need to give up this life-style and rip off my sleeves, drink some tea and get a tattoo. Cousin would that get Naruto to love me?

Maybe Naruto's right though maybe I should go meet a nice girl with a crew cut to take care of cats with. Maybe I've been hiding it for so long I need to let it out! Maybe I just like Naruto for his Harem Jutsu. What do you think cousin? Should I throw caution to the wind? What do you think I should do?

Sincerely, Hinata

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This message has no response as of yet but If we get one we may or may not post it here.

Sejes Ruins

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Please tell me if you got the Mormon jokes I need input. Also Please give me your fan letter that are to Naruto or any one else from the show.


End file.
